Mashonda Discloses How ‘Writing’ Helped Her Overcome Pain, Find Peace & Co-Parent

Posted On : October 9, 2018

After several years together, Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys are still in love, but we all know their love story isn’t a fairytale. The famed rapper/producer’s marriage to Alicia Keys started out as an affair when he’d cheated on his ex-wife Mashonda. So, you can probably imagine how things turned out when the affair was made public. Swizz Beatz and Mashonda’s divorce battle was nothin’ nice and it is reasonable to think their co-parenting efforts were awkward as ever.

No woman would appreciate her child being cared for by the woman her husband cheated on her with, but unfortunately for Mashonda, that’s exactly how things turned out. Needless to say, the situation took some getting used to. Although it definitely wasn’t an easy situation, surprisingly, Mashonda has revealed she and Alicia have reached common ground.

Finding Peace:

In her new book, Blend: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family, Mashonda Tifrere opens up about the co-parenting dynamic with her ex-husband and Alicia Keys. In today’s world, despite the circumstances from which relationships derive, the stepmom is referred to as the “bonus mom.” But to Mashonda, Alicia Keys was initially anything but a bonus; more like a complication. Over time, things changed and their relationship actually evolved. Now, she’s admitting that the blending of their family has had its benefits, but the turning point didn’t come overnight. 

“It took two years into our blending to make it happen, but when we did it was like turning the light on,” Tifrere said. “We realized we could minimize the impact on our children by reducing the conflict we had with one another. There were never any big blowouts. There were times when we didn’t fully agree, but we were all comfortable just letting it go.”

During an interview with People magazine, Alicia Keys also opened up about the success they’ve had with co-parenting. “We did it,” Keys told the publication of their family’s accomplishment. “Mashonda and Swizz and I worked and prayed together and allowed the space for everyone to be heard. It’s one of the things I’m most proud of.”

Reopening Wounds:

During a recent interview, Mashonda discussed the creative process that led to her book. She admitted there were times when writing would reopen old wounds.

“I had to reopen wounds,” she said. “Many weeks I’d drop my son off at school, come home, hibernate, write and cry.” However, due to the struggles many face with co-parenting, she felt the book would be a vital resource to those in need so she forged on.

Although blending is definitely a task that requires time and patience, Mashonda believes it’ll pay off in the long run. While most people believe they’ll only have to co-parent for 18 years, the truth is the connection never diminishes. In fact, it could actually get a bit more complex as the children grow, which is why Mashonda believes a strong co-parenting relationship is important for everyone involved.

“The kids are going to graduate high school, college, get married. One day we’re going to be grandparents to the same babies, all things we want to be celebrating,” she said. “You can co-parent with someone and completely hate them or you can do the work. It’s about being an example of love and wholeness for your child.”

Blend: The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family, is now available for purchase on Amazon.com.

Remember…Love has the power to heal or kill… Always proceed with caution!

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